Monday, February 28, 2011

Breaking News: Message from Little Mike, President Cherubim Local 333 advocating Koch Industry Boycott

Message from Little Mike, President of Cherubim Local 333, affiliate SEIU (Seraphim Employees International Union)

Dear citizens of Wisconsin,

Our union has heard your prayers. I am shocked and horrified by the attack on basic workers' rights being perpetrated by Scott Walker and his overlord, Koch Industries. I am further incensed to learn that my image has been pirated for use upon Koch Industry brand "Angel Soft" toilet paper. Aside from the insult of being a poster child for poop, I never approved of my image being used on any commercial product unless it promotes love, fairness and world peace. Koch Industries is the opposite of these values, a chief polluter of our planet, buying the souls of GOP statesmen to further their own aims. (Such as gaining control of state property that has been in the hands of hard-working Wisconsonites for generations, instead giving control to out-of-state holdings that have no loyalty to the great state of Wisconsin.)

I ask that you please join in the Koch Industry Boycott of all products, including all Dixie Brand paper products and especially Angel Soft, attack upon my dignity that it is. Because giving Koch your money essentially, from what I'm seeing from up here, is tithing to Satan.

Our Union has a proud tradition. First we were an Order of Cherubim, then a Guild, but in this modern age we voted that an international Union suits Earth best, and we stand in solidarity with all who organize in good faith for workers' rights. Cherubim Local 333 supports you, Wisconsin, and all people struggling against the corporate fists of greed and vice that seek to pummel average Americans and reward only the most privileged. Might I remind you all of the 2,000+ Biblical references that demand justice for the poor and downtrodden? Oh yeah, and we've got arrows.

The bible also says that we must pray for our enemies. And so we shall. Doesn't mean you give enemies your money.

There are many faith groups that have joined with workers in this struggle, which pleases our Local very much. Because workers rights are human rights, and where humans are imperiled by the revocation of these rights, so shall angels be.

Stay strong, keep the faith and for God's sake someone take my image off that bathroom tissue, it’s a crime.

Sincerely,
Little Mike
President Cherubim Local 333
To The Left of Your Conscience

Suite 12
Heaven, 33333